UMA UTHATHA TMANSLA AMI KIMI NGIZOWA THATHA KBUYELE KIMI

(if you strip me of my power, I will steal it back)

“We have given court interdicts. That does not work. Someone needs to put the fear of God into these men” (SAPS)











For the past couple of days we have been in KZN, one of the biggest problem areas of sexual abuse and violence against woman and children in South Africa. Up until now, we have focused on the victims and terrible crimes, but the objective of our Xploring in Durban was to uncover the truth about WHAT MEN CARE ABOUT? Because the sad reality is that it is NOT our children!







It is undeniable that the political, social and economic conditions of South Africa have been shaped and devastated by our past. We have heard it over and over again, the heavy burden this violent legacy places upon men. Leaving them feeling hopeless, numb … without caring for themselves or others. They believe there is no way out. So drugs and alcohol abuse and violence becomes the only escape from their harsh reality.
















This lies at the core of the mammoth task that we face in South Africa – IT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE TO BLAME THE PAST FOR YOUR CURRENT BEHAVIOUR – NOTHING IN THE WORLD JUSTIFIES YOU HURTING A CHILD!













Many men we met had the same story as Moses, a re-covering alcoholic we met on the pier on Durban South Beach. He told us that the arguments in his house were all about money, especially child-support. This seems to be the cause of many, many abusive incidents.

“When my wife and I both drank, things were very, very bad in our house … to much violence! But she must not drink! She must listen to me! Or I will slap her …” (Moses, Jobless, Durban)
















We focused on KZN because it is one of our poorest provinces where child abuse is rife. Poverty exacerbates the violence against children. Economic dependency cannot be emphasized enough in this context, as it results in limited choices that woman and children have to escape abusive relationships.

We have been trying to understand why these men don’t care? After meeting many men, we cannot deny the role of culture as a basis for the pervasive view amongst a large group of South African men that woman and children are subservient.

“Even if a child who’s been abused by the father or the uncle … if the mother came to report the case … that is the end of them in that family! You must pack and go … ! This is the thing for men where you can just take someone, even a young girl or a baby, and it is not a secret, MEN ARE ALLOWED…!”
(Author: Justice Served: Kelly Moult)

So the question is: WHAT DO THESE MEN CARE ABOUT?







Within the African Culture a man should be powerful and strong. When this is challenged, especially by a woman or a child it challenges their very masculinity. It is especially important for them to be seen within their community as real men. Not to loose face or be exposed! Right now these men don’t deserve the power, they are stealing it!

We need to show their faces and in so doing strip them of their masculinity. There is nothing that cripples a man more than exposing him! We need to strip these perpetrators from their “masculinity”.